Full of Shit – Part Two

“Some children are sick because of something they’ve done in a past life.” – Weird old guy The “Dada” who created the detox center where I’m a student


” 😐 ” –  Miss Venus today after being told the above


I woke up today with slight cramps which was a sign that my beloved period (sorry guys) was near. I figured I’d opt out of the daily activities and rest. Especially since the one I witness last night had me thinking that I was in a real life reenactment of “One flew over the coo-coo’s nest”. After notifying one of the staff, who knocked on the door at 6am to remind me if was time for yoga, that I wasn’t feeling well and preferred to rest today (according to their welcome packet you can’t do the Anansa yoga during your time of the month) I went back to bed. Various people knocked on my door 26 times in the next few hours to inform me about upcoming treatments. I politely told them again that I prefered to rest for the day. No one could seem to grasp this concept and these ninjas continued to disregard my wishes for quiet time. I was even given a “talking to” by the “medic” onsite while I was half asleep. She looked at me with this odd straight face and told me I was going to be put on juice since I wasn’t participating in any activities. What? Was this heffa trying to punish me for not getting up to chant to some random God and sit in a recycled tub of water for a hip bath? Word? Little did this brawd know I actually miss juicing and was looking forward to it. Boop! 

I sat down to lunch and the cat who is over this place has been joining us for the last few meals which has been interesting to say the least. He grills you with random questions and before you can answer he goes off on these random talking tangents and talks during the entire meal time.  I don’t even think he takes a breath in between words.

The center is filled with novices. The 19 year old that teaches us yoga and assists with other treatments. She gives us scripted statements about their benefits and when asked question she’s stumped. Most of  the staff seem more concerned with socializing than they are ensuring that you have a fulfilling experience. This can be seen and heard with horse play in the hallway and loud cackling laughs coming from every direction.

Due to my own previous research I’m convinced that the food we eat is most definitely to blame for some ailments and diseases. I’ve even watched documentaries supporting this theory. My main focus for coming here was to “detox” and relax. Sometimes budget travel doesn’t provide a variety of healthy options to eat. Even less when you’re a vegetarian. So I know I need to be here to get my system back on track.  

I knew that they offered Yoga, meditation, and various treatments to improve wellness.  What I didn’t expect to get here was random beliefs shoved down my throat against my will.  Although I am very open to learning about different religions, I believe what I believe. For a center to promote itself as non-religious wellness center and you get here and it’s anything but is very misleading. The two word chant that is used over and over again all day long is driving me crazy. Its even used in the songs they play on the loud speaker all day. Imagine the traditional song of Hava Nagila remixed in several different genres to include rap, pop, folk, country, and hard rock.  And the whole time all the singers are saying is “Hava Nagila”.  It was insane!!!   

NOTE: I’m extra convinced that this is OFFICIALLY not my thing. I do love meditating..in my own way. I’ve even incorporated that in to my daily morning routine. HOWEVER, this will be the very last center of this kind that I will step my foot in to and as soon as the internet connection works I will be planning my escape.  WHY OH WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?



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