My time back in the states has been both eye opening and interesting to say the least. No one knew I was coming. I just showed up at my mothers door. After ghetto banging for about 15 minutes and thanks to the dog my little brother and his nonstop barking at the top of his little lungs she finally came to the door. This is one person’s house you will not get in to if you come over unannounced. She hugged me so tight I thought I was going to suffocate to death. The excitement was shortlived and ended with a sigh as I told her I’d only be back for a few weeks…I was still beyond determined to finish what I had started. A few hours later, after I scrubbed the travel stank off my body, I received the same reaction from my grandparents who both shed tears when they saw me.
There has been somewhat of a gray cloud of death and chaos eclipsing what was to be a trip to celebrate life, love, and happiness. Hearing about a few family friends who had passed on while I was away, sitting nervously in the waiting room at the hospital during my grandfathers surgery, dealing with hurtful and unnecessary family comments and drama, and lastly witnessing the death of a stranger who died in front of my eyes as my mom and I tried our best to save her after she had collapsed in the middle of the street.
I firmly believe that I was meant to come back here as part of my journey. Not only was I here to visit my ailing grandfather but all of the experiences I’ve had thus far seem to fall in line with my overall mission. I’m still fine tuning my definition of “happy” and shocking the hell out of myself in the process. Reconnecting with an old friend, finally putting my foot down to family bullies, letting my guard down a bit with matters of the heart, being more aware of how my actions effect others…these things and more have all played a huge part in my continuous trek toward “enlightenment”.
It’s funny how we assume that taking a detour off of our main course will completely derail us or somehow completely change our focus in a negative way. I can absolutely say that this detour was much needed and appreciated. Watching my grandfather handle his illness with courage and grace continues to inspire and amaze me.
Once again…leaving will be bittersweet but I’m not done yet. D-day Part Deux is officially October 1st. The countdown begins!
Hey! I’m glad to hear all is well! I haven’t been following your updates as much as I’d like because of school and my little one, but I will definitely catch up.